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I went to God with all my sorrow, bitterness and frustration."God, oh God, please tell me what do you really want me to do or what you want me to be??" I asked.God led me to a river."Look into the river, my child.""What can you see?""Reflection." I said.God did not say anything but looked into my eyes and smiled. At that moment a thought dawned on me, and I said,"You want me to be a river which reflects your image and goodness."God nodded his head and smiled."But you haven't answer my question yet, God." "Look into the river again, my child." God said.I looked into the river again. And this time I did not see God's reflection but only my reflection in it."What do you see?" God asked.I see myself but not God in the reflection. Another thought dawned on me. For how many times, when I look into the mirror or the river, that I only see myself but not God?It's ! not that God did not show himself, but I chose to see only myself, rather than him. What I wanna see, it's only ME, ME, ME."If you only can see yourself, how will you remember me or my teaching?" God asked with a soft voice, still smiling.I was ashamed, yet I was stubborn, and I'm always stubborn."Yes, Father, I know I always put myself before you for everything, but today I came to you to ask A question, and I just want THE answer."
"Tell me what does the water do, my child." God said, still not answering my question directly."The water?? ...hmmm, the water is always soft and obedient...and no matter what kind of container you pour the water in, the water will matches the shape of the container it is in perfectly.""And how about you?" God turned to me and asked aga! in, with a light twinkling in His eyes.I'm stubborn, I'm not as soft as the water. I just wanna be myself, even though I always promise God I will let Him shape me, but I argue and struggle with Him. I just wanna be whom I wanna be. I want myself to look like what myself want to see.God poured me into a jar, I don't wanna be shaped as the jar, I struggled so hard till I broke the jar.The more I pondered about it, the more I was ashamed of myself. I did not dare to look up nor to answer God.But God heard me and knew me.
He was still smiling, like nothing could possibly upset Him. Like what I have done still not enough to let Him down."Listen to the voice of the river, my child." He said.I closed my eyes and listened attentively.I heard th! e voice of the river running, and all of a sudden I could also hear the singing of the insects and the noise produced by the leaves rubbing against each other when the wind came by.I opened my eyes and found myself standing alone in a deep, thick forest. God is gone."My God, my God, WHERE ARE YOU????!!" I screamed out of horror and fear. Yet I dared not to move even a step."Listen to the voice of the river, my child." God said, still not showing himself.I was such a nervous wreck, yet there was nothing I could do except followed God's instruction.I drew a few deep breath, calmed myself down, closed my eyes again and listened.I could hear the flowing of river again, and this time, a thought flew through my mind and I grabbed ! it before it was gone again.(If I walked along the river, the river will bring me back to the civilization or bring me out of this forest.) So said the thought.I opened my eyes with joy and walked toward the river. But the forest was gone in a second and I was back to the riverside with God standing beside me.God smiled to me again and said,"If you were lost in a deep thick forest, If you would just stop and be still and listen, You would hear the voice of the river -- that's ME.If you would just walked along the river, If you would just followed the river,You would find the way out from the forest -- If you would ju! st follow me and walk along me, You would find THE WAY."I was dumbfounded by God's wisdom and teaching, all I could do was looked at Him in awe.God rubbed my head and said," Did I answer your question yet? If not, come back and see me tomorrow."
